I should have known I would horrible about keeping up with my blog. I honestly believe I haven't written anything because to be real on my blog would be painful and the purpose of my blog had been to be cheerful. But Amy is right, I need to be real. I didn't want to write anything because there didn't seem to be much to be cheerful about or proud of. I'm not happy about where I am in life so I tend (i guess I don't tend I do) to shy away from everyone and block people out...the people that care the most and know me the best. I don't want people to see me sad or in my "dark days". But maybe if I can be real on this blog and chart the progress of life, I can look back over time and see a change and see how my life is getting better.

I just wish I could tell everyone that. Tell all my friends that it is not personal. I just want to send out a mass email with that message and say I am not avoiding you - I am avoiding me. I have the most amazing people in my life, and when times get tough I shut them out. Then when I finally come to my senses I have to repair friendships that I had broken.

Pink, Bows, Ooohs and Ahhhhs.

Today was a sweet day. My cousin Amanda had a her baby shower. Lillian Renee is expected to bless this world Jan. 20th.

I've done the bridal shower thing. All through college and after, Kappa Gamma girl's, friends, and family....but being back in Vtown I've reentered the world of baby showers and love it. Amanda is having her 1st girl after two boys! So all family members are super excited. This will be the first baby girl in the family since my "baby" sister Kelsey (who is now 13!).

I loved the pink punch, pink cake, pink ballons, the pink cheeks of Amanda, and all the pink adorable baby clothes. I'm not shy to admit I joined in the chorus of Oooooohs and Ahhhhhhs.

Lessons of the day learned: The fact that I have a nice big butt almost wins me prizes. We had to guess how big Mandy's belly was using yarn (you know that game). I wrapped the yarn around my largest section, my butt of course, and added just a little extra. I didn't guess her belly size exactly, but I was pretty close. It's those "Berry Buns". 2nd lesson...someone approached me as I was talking to Amanda (her boys running circles around us and us talking about the crib bedding) and said "Aren't you glad you don't have kids?". Really?! How do you respond to that? I figured bursting into tears was not the correct response (yes yes I know I know it's obviously not something I am planning at the moment, but still) so instead I just smiled polietly and said "oh i don't know". I don't know what lesson I gathered on that one. haha.

I love tea

I love iced tea. It's why I go to resturants.

Unsweet. I grew up in California.

Refreshing. Cool.

I miss Texas. Fresh brewed iced tea is everywhere.

What I wouldn't give to just walk into a Mcallisters or Chick fil A and simply order fresh brewed ice tea.

It's on my list of top 5 things I would take with me to a deserted island.

Be proud of me those who know me well. I am expanding my horizons with an occasional flavored tea or even a Arizona Ice Tea.

I got the best Christmas gift from Tish sitting under the tree waiting for me. An Iced Tea Maker, of course.

What I wrote on Myspace today.

I love reading blogs. I honestly while away the hours reading blogs. Usually it's just friend's blogs but sometimes it's an occasional stranger's life that I get sucked into reading. I love it, and dream of the day I start my own blog. I dream of it because I don't know what I would say. But I guess it doesn't matter. I don't have to say much. After reading other people's blogs...they make it seem so simple...just posting youtube videos, beautiful pictures, and short stories of the day or simply an idea. But in all honestly I don't do it because...well I don't want it to become all dark and depressing. I have so much crap in my life that I don't always need to share. I think I've been holding out on blogging because I want to wait until something really good happens in my life. Yes Becky that's just silly.
...so here's what I'll do. My blog's mission will be to find the sunshine in my day and the silver lining in my life. It's decided then. Plus!! I can now comment on my friend's wonderful blogs too!
And by the way, I have a terrible problem apparently. I always say "I have a confession". People always gear up and brace themselves for something terrible that may come out of my mouth...but it never does. Haha. It's usually something as simple as "I love to smell everything". I also overuse "Can I Tell You Something". Supposedly I should save that for serious conversations. Oh well it's what I do.